What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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