I love black thongs
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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