you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
