I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
