Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
