Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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