I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
