We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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