I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
All the doctor said was why
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
