For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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