A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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