i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
