Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
