I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
