This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
