good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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