i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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