If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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