therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
