just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
