dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
