he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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