is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
