SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
