Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize