I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
