I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize