Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize