there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
