Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
did you just send me my own nude
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
