Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize