Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it's like heaven, but drunker
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
