I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
