Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
