her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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