Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize