I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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