I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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