Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
