You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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