matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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