Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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