I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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