Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
