girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
