So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
