Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
