No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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