Buhtt sex?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the day after is always just damage control
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
