Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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