btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
