dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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