Buhtt sex?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
