Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
