Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize