i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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