so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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