my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
