yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
