Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
