Actions speak louder than pants.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
